I was crabby for some unknown reason last night.  I suppose that just happens now and then.  A good night's sleep and a good day later and it just seems like it was a little silly.

Life is good.  Sure, there are difficulties here and there, but I can honestly say that I am happy, calm, content, and not wanting to be anywhere else.  Life is good indeed.  Here's why:

I got to help students do research in the library so they could do little presentations on life in the U.S. during the 30s in order to set the stage for them to read Of Mice and Men.  I had to chuckle when some of them looked horror-struck when I told them that we would not be doing the research in the computer lab.  Yay books.

I just finished caramelizing pecans to put on top of a pumpkin pie that I will be making shortly.

Mason Jennings is singing away from the other side of the room.

My lovely wife will be home soon, which will quickly bring the best part of each day:  the we're both home now hug.

I had a good and productive afternoon.

We'll be going north to visit my family and stuff ourselves silly next week, and we'll finish our stained glass window too.

We'll be seeing her folks and my dad in short order as well.

While the pie is in the oven, I am planning on getting recumbent and reading a good book and having a nice cuppa.

I got a call from my little sister today.  Moosh moosh moosh.

Everywhere I look right now, I recognize things that connect me with everything and everywhere else, and at the same time bring me back to where I am. 

Simple pleasure - slowly fading burgundy
Peace

So I'm curious. What do you think it will ultimately take for the U.S. (and perhaps industrialized nations in general) to change course?

Background. After going to the anti-war rally yesterday afternoon, Sarah and I watched Who Killed the Electric Car?  Basically, the movie was about automakers developing plug-in electric cars for the mass market.  The cars were developed, leased by many people in California, and then the automakers let the leases expire and destroyed them all much to the chagrin of everyone who drove them.  The movie placed the blame for the demise of the plug-in electric cars on...
the oil industry (buying and killing the best battery technology)
auto companies (who would be forced to admit that all of their cars aren't good, if their new electric cars are so good)
the government (for being beholden to big business)
consumers (who are apathetic and will usually eat what is fed to them)
and
the hydrogen fuel cell (which is glamorous, but has plenty of issues, and though would be clean is ultimately [according to the movie] a less viable and efficient form of energy to power cars)
There may have been one or two other culprits they named, but I don't remember off hand, and these are most of them.

This lead to a discussion between Sarah and I that started with the question, "Why would a company kill a project that all signs showed would be very successful (not to mention the fact that it would be a huge step forward in combating global warming)?"



While I want to see the revolution come, I think the powers that be would be able to crush nearly anything that threatens the status quo.  I believe there will be worldwide (or at least continental-scale) calamity before any real changes come about, and at that point it may be too late.

So, what do you think it will take for us to change course?

As I was walking home from my bus stop, a couple of Mormon boys came up to me and wanted to give me their spiel. Just as they started talking I told them that I wasn't interested. One of them asked if there would be a better time and I replied that I am a Buddhist (which I'm not sure I can really say, but that's another post for another time) and that I wasn't interested. I wished them a good day and kept going.

I wasn't rude. I didn't snap at them. I did feel irritation and crabbiness arising inside of me though. Almost as soon as we parted ways I felt ashamed of those feelings.

Background:

I may have written a bit about my spiritual past, but bear with me. I was raised in what is now the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, a relatively "liberal" protestant denomination. While I have sentimental ties to that denomination of Christianity as I grew older having a faith based on the ELCA meant less and less to me. Confirmation was a joke. Rarely did I feel anything aside from obligation when I went to church (except perhaps when the music was particularly good). Ironically enough, it was while I worked at Camp Vermilion (an ELCA camp) that I realized that it really wasn't working for me. It really seemed to be a culmination of years of struggle and discontent with Christianity.

Around that time I was introduced to Zen Buddhism. I'm not sure there could have been a better place for learning about mindfulness than that summer in the Boundary Waters. Though I have a thousand questions about Buddhism in general, I do know that the little I know about Zen makes sense to me.

I would say that I am still searching. If I had to ascribe a label to myself it would be Agnostic with Buddhist sympathies. How's that for wishy-washy?

Back to the topic at hand...

I have no time for proselytizing. It implies right and wrong and that those who believe differently made a bad decision or that their experience is invalid. The "believe this way or else" is one of the big problems I have with Christianity (and other religions that have similar messages). It seems to me that there is a problem when one group over here insisting that they're right and there is another group over there insisting that they're right. I just can't buy into the idea that some fraction of the world's population is right while all the others are wrong (while still believing that they're right of course).

So proselytizing makes me crabby. I know I shouldn't be crabby though because while I don't agree with going around trying to convert others, those two young men were following their faith. Faith can be a very beautiful thing. I can not hold it against them.

What I missed in just walking away was the opportunity for a potentially enlightening conversation. What is it like talking to so many people who don't want to see you? Why are you on this mission? How do you feel it will affect you and your spiritual journey? I have some issues with religion, but I am also very interested in how and why people believe. I am at times uncomfortable talking about faith, but there is little that fascinates me more. There have been quite a number of times when I have considered how wonderful it would be to be an aesthetic monk, studying, meditating, learning, communicating, being.

So I was unhappy with myself for reacting so viscerally even if I didn't show it. I missed an opportunity to gain an understanding. I had an unjustified negative reaction towards those two, when I should have seen them with eyes of compassion and love.

Lesson learned? I don't know. I do know that I can do better and that hopefully next time something more productive can come out of a meeting like that.

Simple pleasure - Everyone is on their way somewhere
Peace

I got the results of my blood work back yesterday. I have high cholesterol. I'm sure my all egg nog diet hasn't helped that much this past month or so. It's not terribly high - a few points above the normal range - but it is something I need to be mindful of. My grandparents on my father's side have had plenty of heart problems, due mostly in part to smoking I'm sure, but I can't just dismiss either.

So I have high cholesterol. It's a good thing that egg nog season is coming to a close soon... and that soy nog is on sale now at Lunds. I will try to change a few things - one donut instead of two on Fridays, reasonable sized glasses of nog, fewer grilled cheeses (one of our more frequent meals), more fruit and vegies, more exercise.

Finding out you have cholesterol is one of those official, "You're old." messages, is't it? I guess I should be thankful that I am healthy in most other respects. My blood pressure is reasonable (another thing I will need to watch in the future), I am probably in better than average shape and I have plans to work out more. I love being young though. I suppose it's a matter of keeping active and eating right that will allow me to continue the activities I love, but it is kind of a shock. I don't want to get old. I am watching my parents get older and dealing with health issues more frequently. It's hard.

When I was several years younger, I thought I had it all figured out (who didn't?). I was going to be married when I was 21, have my first kid by the time I was 23, and be done having kids when I was 27. That way I'd still be in my mid 40s when my kids graduate high school and I could still go flying down the side of mountains on bikes, skis, etc. But here I am 28 and Sarah and I aren't planning on having kids for a few years yet. You know though, for the sake of my wife and my kids I am going to take care of myself and play/adventure/goof-off with them until they're exhausted and say, "Dad, I just want to go home and read a book." Alright, we'll read a book then.

I suppose getting older is ok. I am getting a handle on being more organized. My diet is better than it was. I am working out more. Everything will be alright.

Going to have a nice, calm, adult evening with my loving tonight. I like to hold her hand as we walk along.

Simple pleasure - mindfulness
Peace

Hooray for the weekend! These past couple weeks have raced by. Sarah said something a few days ago about being worried taht time is going by so fast that some day we're going to wake up and be 50. Sometimes, it does indeed that we actually aren't living each day and are just kind of acting as observers to our life rather than participants. At the same time though, our days are pleasant, and every Sunday one of us says to the other that we had a nice weekend together. So yeah, time is flying by, but we are really having a good time too.

This weekend is a little unusual as we have some rather social events happening. We both tend to do things on our own, but now and then we step out. Last night we hosted a poker night. We had six people playing: Ed, Chris (co-worker), Marciamarcia (not going to use dumb rich-text) and her husband, Ed's friend Doreen, and me. Julie came over too and she and Sarah had some good visiting time. Joe finally delivered our poker table, and that worked out very well. With numerous beer-induced bathroom breaks, we played for almost five hours. I think everyone had a pretty good time, and even when people eventually were out of the game they stuck around, socialized and even played some Nintendo.

It was nice to have a small party. Both Sarah and I like to be hosts. Over the last week or more I've spent a lot of time in the basement getting it liveable. I spent a few hours cobbling together a backboard for my dartboard. Boundary Waters maps are on the walls, as are coffee bags, canoe paddles, and my Scotland map. It has really taken shape nicely.

Some time later in the winter we want to have another party - sledding and chili or something like that. Playing host is fun.

Schedule for the rest of the weekend:
naps
cleaning up beer bottles
bowling with Marciamarcia, Enealio and their significant others
church/dharma center
Seeing The American Swedish Institute and their holiday displays.
Going to see The Queen

A busy weekend, but another pretty good one.

Carol of the Bells count: 15

Simple pleasure - A lazy morning with my wife, coffee cake, and coffee
Peace

This was a pretty busy weekend. Sarah summed it up fairly well. For me, just replace doing very little on Saturday until the parties instead of shoppping. As you can see, on Friday night, we went to see a movie about "illegal" immigration called Crossing Arizona. It was a very interesting movie illustrating the difficulties immigrants face when crossing the Arizona desert. Some of the routes can take days on end through the hot and waterless desert. There are some humanitarian organizations that leave out water for their trip as in the past several years thousands of immigrants have died trying to cross the desert.

At one point in the movie, one of the people who leaves water every day came across dozens and dozens of water jugs that had been slashed and scattered by someone who opposed helping the immigrants - which could conceivably have lead to someone else dieing in the desert. You could tell that this humanitarian was upset by this. Then he said something that I've been thinking about ever since. He said, "I guess I'll have to go set out more water."

It is hard being aware of the world sometimes. There is so much injustice and harm being done everywhere. Destruction of critical environments, modern slavery, School of the Americas, political prisoners, institutional racism/intolerance, oppressive and corrupt regimes, and on and on and on... It is really easy to get depressed. What difference could I possibly make?

I suppose I can just go set out more water. There will probably always be injustice in many different forms, so we need to just keep doing what we do to end it. I really need to do more. Time to start writing to elected officials, and volunteering around the city I think.

Keep putting out the water, friends. Things seem overwhelming, but by doing our bit and talking with others we can make a difference.

No justice, no peace
Know justice, know peace

Simple pleasure - inspiration
Peace